Infertility is one of the most stressful situations that any couple must deal with. Even treatments for it can contribute to the stress that the cou...
Infertility is one of the most stressful situations that any couple must deal with. Even treatments for it can contribute to the stress that the couple goes through. In addition, the irony is that couples that realize that they themselves are stressed can further worsen their infertility thanks to this realization!
But what causes it? What are some of the factors behind infertility stress?
Firstly, it can stem from being initially diagnosed as being infertile in the first place. Many couples try having intercourse for some months or at least a year (of course, unsuccessfully) before they get frustrated and seek the advice of a fertility specialist. And when said specialist diagnoses either partner – or both in some cases – as being infertile, one or both could very well end up feeling depressed and inadequate.
Secondly, should the couple decide to undergo infertility treatments, doing so can further add to their stress. Such treatments can prove exceedingly and prohibitively expensive depending on the treatments required. (Patients, though, may be able to avail of financing options and fertility insurance if they qualify for it.)
And the process itself of having to go in and out of doctors’ waiting rooms and hospitals, among other places, waiting with bated breath for results can surely add more stress on top of the existing stress,
Thirdly, the stress can come from the lovemaking itself. Many couples cannot accept the fact that they are unable to have children normally.This can make things very hard for them. As they are unable to consummate the sexual act, they may have to make recourse to more medical assistance.
Also having sex might become unenjoyable. It is no longer about enjoying each other and having a pleasure time. It can become a chore for the couple as they would have to be doing it according to a schedule with the pressure of producing children.
In addition, men will feel emasculated and feel that they are responsible if they are unable to produce babies with their wives. Having to undergo fertility treatments may be even more demeaning for them. And since men have to produce semen in doctors’ offices, learn that they might have low sperm count or have erectile problems, all these can prove extremely embarrassing to them.
How the couple responds to such stress in the first place is extremely important. Some can simply take it in stride and be positive even in the face of potential failure; others can be negative right at the outset even if the future for them might not be so bleak, and immediately contemplate having to adopt children while agonizing over how unfair things seem to be, and so on and so forth. This can result in the couples and individuals having a low self-esteem.
Many couples end up going through extreme strain due to infertility. Some couples buckle under this strain, and many of them end up breaking up. Others, though, end up learning from this experience and end up stronger couples.
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When we are getting married we never even think that the tension between us and our spouse may someday rise to the level which may destroy our feelings. Still, the sad fact is that in every marriage stress can occur in almost every moment and when we are not ready for it, it may cause separation or even a divorce. This is why we should know a few important truths about stress in a marriage. We have to have a chance to avoid some of traps or at least to know what to do when the tension between us is definitely too high and we start to hate our spouse instead of loving.
One of the main sources of stress in the marriage are problems with communication between you and your spouse. Very often we hurt each other by saying something which is unpleasant to the spouse. Usually we even do not realize that we said something we should never say, especially when our second half doesn’t react immediately to our words. Still, such situations tend to create stress in marriage, so we should always think for awhile before we open our mouth.
Another source of stress in a marriage is our behavior. It is normal that after a few years together we love each other in different way than it was during our honeymoon. Still, we can put these feeling back and repair our relationships if we only want to do it. It may be anything – a dinner with candles or a long walk in the evening. By doing so we can break the routine in our marriage and thus lower the level of stress it can cause.
When we want to live in happy family we must trust each other. It is not only the matter of adultery or financial matters. Lack of trust causes that we feel alone and can’t count on each other so the stress can strike us much easier. When we worry where is our spouse or with whom he or she spends the evening, we are more and more stressed and the possibility that we will start to accuse our partner or quarrel with him is getting higher. This is why we must not only love each other, but also learn to trust our spouses. It is not an easy lesson, but very important one.
Stress can strike in our marriage at any time. It may appear when there is too much routine in your relationships, when you or your spouse suspects adultery, when a child appears in your family or when you have problems at work. In fact marriage is one of the most stressful things we can meet as long as we can’t listen to our spouses and cooperate with them. We can get rid of a stress in a marriage only when we do it together, in other case the tension between us will only rise and end in a divorce.
The Author: John Andrews writes about stress, natural stress relief and how to deal with stress. For additional info on all natural stress relief and , feel free to visit the above sites.
After going through a break up, you will most likely be feeling the effects of a broken heart. Before you begin to seek out , it would be wise to first see what you can do about healing your poor little heart.
While a broken heart may not be a real medical affliction, it can be just as painful as any true health related ordeal. Some people who have even been reported to have physical reactions to their break up pain, such as vomiting and dizziness!
When suffering from a broken heart, it is not uncommon to experience drastic urges such as the craving to call your ex every waking minute of the day or to binge eat to take your mind off of the sadness you feel. These feelings are perfectly normal and something that just about every serious relationship goes through at its end, and will begin to subside as time goes on.
While you have a broken heart, make sure to avoid common mistakes that people tend to make, such as plotting or boyfriend. Instead, set positive goals for yourself, such as picking up new hobbies or exercising more often. The good memories will slowly begin to overwrite the bad memories.
Instead of trying so hard to get over your ex, focus on things that make you happy. That really is the key to getting over a broken heart more quickly. You see, if you’re constantly thinking about getting over your ex, you will only be thinking about then more and more. Just forgetting someone who you spent a lot of time with in an instant is an unrealistic goal.
The most important part of all this is not to get discouraged. A break up is one of the most common ordeals in life and they can really slow you down, but they are also one of the most commonly remedied situations. Not very many people die from a broken heart, although at times it can make you feel close to death. Just stay positive, and remember that this too shall pass!
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Here are four dating ideas to turn your partners head and put zing into your love life.
The really romantic night out — Let your imagination run wild and think of ways you can make it come true given your time and budget constraints.
How about trying a picnic with candles on top of a mountain or next to a quiet and peaceful lake. Or maybe it is time for a dressed to the nines night out at the ballet, together with dinner at a great restaurant.
Perhaps you should actually imagine two dates, especially if your partner’s idea of a dream date is different than your own. That way you get to fulfill both of your dreams.
The best cheap date around — Give yourself a low-budget say $10 or $20 and use all of your imagination to figure out ways you can have a great time with little or no money. that way you can avoid all the anxiety that comes with spending too much.
Money can’t buy everything and sometimes it can’t even buy a great date. It is really spending time with your partner that you are both after.
A date for the sensual — Give your body what it craves, and your partner’s body too. How about spending some time together in a hot tub and then taking turns giving each other a massage? Don’t forget the candles and soft music.
On the other hand, maybe you would like to visit a spa together, and get side-by-side massages. Then titillate your taste buds with oysters, chocolate and champagne.
Dating and dreaming — Choose your favorite place with a great view … maybe a restaurant at the top of a skyscraper, or a lakeside spot in a beautiful park.
Paper and pencil will come in handy, because you are going to write plans for the future. Use the inspiration of this place to visualize your future together.
Next set some concrete goals you both can get excited about. When you plan the future together, the present will feel much more intimate.
There you have it. Four dates that will turn your partner’s head and make your lives more romantic. Try them on for size and see what happens.
Gary Graysun loves helping couples strengthen relationships. He also enjoys helping people economize. For some of his recent money saving ideas on insurance visit his websites on and
“It’s as if there are thumb tacks in our bed,” I lament to my husband as he crawls in on the other side of our bed. “Logically I know nothing is there, but my body would argue otherwise.”
“I’m sorry,” he offers with a sympathetic voice, but there is little else he can do.
“I feel a little nauseous tonight too,” I respond. “I wonder if I should eat some crackers or something. . . or if that would just upset my stomach more. It has to be the medications. It will probably pass soon.” Before I can finish my sentence he is already asleep.
For many of us, our spouse is our best friend. If our relationship is good, we want to share our feelings with them. Even if our relationship is hurting, we feel that by explaining our pain, our spouse may sympathize and be more loving toward us.
Although we don’t want to burden them by constantly sharing about our aches and pains, when we are hurting there is a desire to be heard and have our feelings validated. By talking out loud about what we are feeling, it somehow makes the pain real. It’s no longer “all in our head.”
In the Bible we are told “Carry each others burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ” (Galatians 6:2). Our spouse can play an important role in helping us cope with our illness by carrying some of the burden, but it’s wrong of us to assume that our spouse should be fully responsible for carrying it. We need to take our burden to the Lord and talk to Him about it, as well as find a close friend we can confide in.
Although your spouse may not be suffering from a physical ailment, there are still many losses that he is grieving. For example, it is an emotional thing to watch someone you love be in pain and not be able to fix it. He may be suffering as he watches you lose the ability to do things you love. He likely misses the couple outings you once took together when you could do physically active events, whether it was skiing, or just taking long walks together on the beach. He may be frustrated that even his hugs can cause you to wince. Counselors have found that there are three major areas where marriages suffer: money, time and physical intimacy.
Is your marriage suffering from changes in all three areas? Illness can add a burden to each of these. How can we learn how to “share our burdens” in our marriage relationship, and yet also realize how to set reasonable limitations on our expectations of what our spouse should handle?
Consider your spouse your partner and the illness the third party
It’s easy to think of you and your illness “up against” your spouse, but the illness should be the third party, not your spouse. Although you will often feel that your spouse is merely a spectator to the pain you are in, he is feeling his own kind of pain due to your illness. Make him a part of fighting this battle to have the life you want to have in a way that he is comfortable with.
It is okay (and wise) to gently educate your spouse on your illness. Allow him to come to your doctor’s appointments if he wishes, and ask his own questions about your illness, especially when you are first diagnosed. Don’t overwhelm him, expecting him to read all the books you are reading, especially if he never reads. Instead, give him a brochure with the basics or see if there is a podcast he can listen to. Talk opening about some of the responsibilities or roles may change within your marriage due to the illness. Be open about what you think you can and cannot do, for example, maybe you can no longer scrub that tub. Be forthright about them so you can decide as a team how they can still be completed.
Connie Kennemer lives with multiple sclerosis and she candidly shares that struggle that it can be to find the right balance and word. “I am not as mobile as I used to be and I often ask more of my husband such as ‘Can you work at home this afternoon?’ or ‘Why do you have to go to another meeting?’ How much should he accommodate me because my body is changing? He doesn’t always know when to stop and encourage me to try things myself. This is a constant challenge.”
Be reasonable in your expectations
It’s not uncommon for us to marry someone who has the opposite personality style as we do. You may feel the need to read everything you can get your hands on about your illness and attend all the support group meetings, but your spouse doesn’t respond to your diagnosis in the same way. It’s not because he doesn’t care, he is just responding in a way that is different from your own.
Or perhaps you take things as they come and put off digging up information. You don’t want to read about worse case scenarios and lay awake at night wondering if they will come true. But your spouse’s response to this may be to actually accuse you of being in denial and not caring about your health because you don’t research the illness with the same passion he does. An excellent book to smooth out your communication is “Personality Plus for Couples: Understanding Yourself and the One You Love” by Florence Littauer.
Have information about your illness available for when he is ready
If you are having a conversation and you want to explain more about how you are feeling, or details about the illness itself, you may want to have books with sticky notes on the pages you think he’s find most helpful. Or bookmark pages you can read together and then discuss. Connie says, “After ten years of living with MS, I am past the whiney stage, but Rex sometimes holds back; that’s when I need to ask him more questions about his feelings.”
Be creative in sharing about the embarrassing parts of chronic illness
If your illness is going to cause you to be in the bathroom during eighty percent of the events you attend together, you need to let your spouse know that this is part of the disease. Health organizations have brochures on symptoms. You can say, “I’m dealing with some personal matters of this illness right now; I don’t really want to talk about them yet, but they’re in this brochure if you’re wondering.” Avoid sharing every detail if you can.
Look for other ways to vent besides always dumping on your spouse
“I realized that I held onto all of my frustrations of pain during the day and then ‘threw’ them at my husband as he came in the door,” shares Cheryl, who lives with chronic fatigue syndrome. “My actions set the tone for our entire evening and even though I felt better, he felt worse, and it lasted all night. He was beginning to dread coming home at night.”
Thankfully Cheryl realized the damage she was inflicting on her marriage, so she decided to take the last couple of hours each day to write in her journal, spend some time in prayer and do another activity that was relaxing. She shares about the result: “Writing in my journal gave me the chance to express my frustrations, and then prayer really began to minimize the negativity too. My husband quickly noticed a difference and it’s made our relationship so much stronger.”
Develop interests and hobbies
What else do you have going on in your life, other than your illness? It’s easy to be overwhelmed with doctor’s appointments and just maintaining our illness, but it can result in a pretty dull life. Even if you have limited energy, do something you’ve always wanted to do that doesn’t have a deadline. Put together memory albums for your grandchildren, clean out just one drawer, find a new craft or hobby, volunteer to be on a prayer chain. Soon you will find that your illness actually is the last thing you want to talk about when you have had such more interesting events in your day.
Conclusion
So, the question remains: how much talk is too much? Unfortunately, there is not a perfect answer that applies to everyone. It’s different for each person and each marriage. Learn to be objective. Honestly ask yourself, “How often am I bringing up my illness? How do I benefit from talking about it more often than necessary? Do I need validation? Understanding? Actual physical help with tasks around the house?” If you want attention from your spouse and this seems to be the only way to get it, admit that to yourself! How can you get some of these needs filled by God instead of your spouse? How is it negatively impacting your life, or those around you, by discussing it all the time?
Next, ask yourself “What is a more creative way that I can create intimacy with my spouse, other than just sharing my aches and pains? How can we share some activities and time that can help us grow closer together?”
And then when you want to share about your pain, send up a prayer to the Lord beforehand: “Lord, I don’t want to burden anyone else with something they can’t fix, and I really need a hug from you right now. I know how much my spouse cares about me; please give me the wisdom to know when to ask for help and comfort from him/her and when to come only to You and ask you to fulfill all of my emotional needs.”
For more articles and important support while living with chronic illness visit Rest Ministries and subscribe to and be entered for our monthly giveaway. Lisa Copen is the director of Rest Ministries, author of 505 Ways to Encourage a Chronically Ill Friend” and founder behind National Invisible Chronic Illness Awareness Week.
The problems many couple have trying for a child are becoming more commonplace but this still something that is not talked about generally. Couples feel helpless and isolated when they learn that they have little chance of conceiving and while this is not necessarily a disease, this disorder can cause the same amount of stress and dismay for both partners.
Unfortunately male infertility is also on the increase and creates its own problems with male pride it is important to know more about the subject to avoid some of the popular misconceptions. So if you are made aware of the possible options available then it is possible to assess the situation and decide on a course of action.
A couple are said to be infertile if they have been trying for a child for a full year and female infertility is where a woman has not been able to carry a baby for the full pregnancy. Male infertility is generally connected with hormonal disorders, obstruction in the reproductive system, sexual dysfunction, or recurring illness and is actually the state of inability rather than a specific disease. Therefore diagnosing this disorder requires a holistic approach that should cover everything regarding a man’s health, it is unfortunate however, that half of infertile men are irreversibly infertile which severely restricts their ability to father children.
Male infertility falls into two main categories; those that have had it all their lives and those that have developed it at some point. Cases of congenital male infertility have been present since the person’s birth whereas acquired male infertility has been caused by outside influences.
Where the infertility is diagnosed as acquired, it could be the result of a disease such as diabetes (but there are others including those that are sexually transmitted) or from high blood pressure to medical treatment that required the use of radiation. It can also occur when the male is subject to disease that is systemic or system wide like that shown with high fever, serious infections or abnormalities found in the kidneys.
The male hormone testosterone is responsible for the development of the male sexual organs and where there is a reduction in this hormone then infertility can result. Over the years the methods fertility specialists have developed has been refined and now the causes of infertility in a couple starts with the male as it is easier to look for inconsistencies in the male’s reproductive system than in a female’s reproductive system.
Initially the fertility specialist will ask the man questions about his family’s medical history to see if there is any indication that the infertility is of congenital origin. Once the cause of male infertility is established, the doctor can recommend a set of treatments to make conception between the couple possible as each treatment addresses a certain cause and unlike other conditions, male infertility can be solved with specific types of treatment.
About the Author:
Male infertility is a condition that CAN be helped and overcome with the right strategies. We have found an amazing method to and motility via an all natural supplement called: Semenax.
Men often become hurt and resentful when their wife declines an intimate pass that they put out. This frustration can easily become the main cause of any marriage problems they are facing. This is because the man takes it as a sign of rejection and that his wife is no longer in love with him.
Making love means two different things for a husband and a wife. Men view the sexual relationship as an opportunity to express his love and receive love from his wife. He often feels that this is the main way to express his emotions and feelings; therefore he can not understand his wife’s disinterest.
A woman expresses love for their spouse in other ways. They take care of the home, make them a favorite meal or dessert, and just do nice things for their spouse. Laying in their spouses arms and falling asleep is all they need to be loved. For a woman, sexual intercourse is something meaningful, but not always necessary.
For the most part, women are not aware that men use intercourse as a way to measure their love. Men feel that it is not enough to just let their wife know, verbally, how much they love them. The man feels that it needs to be shown as well, as this is the only way they can think of to show their wife what she really means to him. When a man feels rejected by his spouse it is important he expresses theses feelings to his wife, so that she can gain a greater understanding on home much he relies on intercourse as a means of love and intimacy.
When the man lets the woman know how he really feels and why, it can make a difference in the relationship and marriage. Most women just aren’t aware of the implications when they announce that they would rather sit and talk while holding each other, instead of having intercourse. If a wife is aware of the meaning behind the husbands desire for intercourse then there will be no misunderstandings or hurt feelings in the bedroom.
About the Author:
If you feel that you and your spouse need to attend , log onto www.lightyourfire.com right away. Anyone who has can benefit from tips and advice on the topic of marriage.
Emotional marriage which is a product of emotional infidelity becomes an incredible union especially between two strangers who, by some amazing accident, happen to cross their paths. In most cases, emotional infidelity has become the best remedy for one who is nursing a terrible shock and pain of a broken heart. Someone out there somewhere helps one picks up the pieces of a shattered ego. One may stay married only in paper and by name but in some remote space one is enjoying the comfort of being loved and appreciated from an outside party.
Being loved and needed is such a wonderful feeling with a fathomless meaning. The feeling of belongingness to someone who cares and loves you is indeed an unimaginable experience. No amount of money can equate that enormous happiness of knowing that you are still a person capable of loving and being equally loved in return. Love is the most mysterious emotion that can move heaven and earth and move mountains.
Alas! They could have the right love, unfortunately at the wrong time for one is already committed. To forget someone once special is to find someone more special. But love sometimes comes from some strange places and it becomes beautiful when two strange people with individual differences come to accept each other and genuinely fall in love. Superficial love based on physical attraction may not last, but a relationship founded on a higher level is bound for eternity. It is a match made in heaven, supposed to be!
Cases of emotional infidelity often occur and this is merely on the emotional level. Physical chastity is still maintained while emotions deep inside the lovers concerned are erupting and outpouring. Emotional entanglement is one of the most difficult situations to handle in case of an eventual break up. It is truly devastating much worse than a physical involvement.
Everything on this planet is subject to constant change and it is only change that remains constant. If you love someone, you have to nurture it and let it flourish with mutual respect and understanding of the other persons shortcoming and misgivings. If only pure and unconditional love prevails, then there shall be no room for emotional infidelity.
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is among the rather sad realities that some couples need to deal with. The effects may vary to a certain degree but for sure it can be a devastating one. If you wish to learn more about it, just visit
Excessive barking can really drive your neighbors mad. Especially if your dog is barking during the day when you are not at home. Every dog barks, its part of what makes up a dog, however, there is a fine line between normal barking and excessive barking. If you are finding that your dog is barking excessively and you really do not have the time to train him or her, a dog bark collar can really be of value to you.
A static dog bark collar is one of the two main dog bark collars out there on the market. A static collar does not have electricity in it so it will never hurt your dog or send them whimpering off into the corner. There is a little box attached to the collar that emits a vibration when your dog barks. This is activated by your dogs back and the vibration of his voice box, so there is no chance of another dog setting off your dogs barking collar.
Citronella dog bark collar is the other main type of collar. This is usually for dogs whose owners really do not like the idea of a static collar. A citronella collar sprays the dog near his or her face a burst of citronella. Dogs naturally hate citronella, so they will soon learn that when they bark, this horrible smell appears.
Dogs bark for many reasons, boredom, anxiety, and excitement. You can train your dog to stop barking, many dogs can be trained easily. Its tricky when your dog is barking when you are not at home to correct him or her. Thats why a dog bark collar is the best thing when it comes to trying to solve the barking fast. You will notice within a few hours of putting the collar on that your dog will be barking less.
Neighbors, we all have them, some are nice, and some are not. If you are lucky to have nice neighbors then talking to them when you are having problems with your barking dog is relatively easy. Its when you have problems with your neighbors that can arise when you have a barking dog. Many dogs each year are hurt or taken away from their families because of their excessive barking. Keeping your neighbors onside at all times is a must when you have a barking dog.
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This is a trick Ive tried and tested repeatedly, it works like a charm. I almost hate to share it – but here it is anyway visit . Do NOT let your neighbors decide your dogs Fate visit:
